went to church earlier with my mom. it was about joy and if you can’t feel joy anymore and stuff… i was like wow same thing iv’e been feeling and thinking about. i couldn’t stop crying and even when we went to ihop i was having trouble not crying. so i had to keep trying to hide it. just so much going on lately. people dying, my dad’s birthday today and my friends ditching me… etc… and then i forgot to go to the cemetery today. didn’t realize until on the way home/ i do feel better after crying so much lol. i guess the running waters was my tears