FML

I am up and ready for work. had some trouble sleeping.  and i woke up sweating.  i’m not in  a good mood at all. mainly because ia m going back to work after a long vacation and i didn’t get to spend tie with a certain someone at all but a few hours one night. the WHOLE time i was off. yeah i have been pissed and hurt about it and it’s another reason i chose to be alone. cause it was like it didn’t even matter to them one way or another. some holidays right?  lately i just feel so upset and sad and mad all the time. i usually am laughing all the time. i don’t feel like me at all anymore. i just feel so upset and anxious inside all the time.  i don’t know why i am writing this. no one cares. not the ones that are supposed to.  i so don’t feel like working today. if i knew things would have turned out this way i never would have bothered because i sure hate the way it feels inside. i don’t have a crutch to rely on to get me through life every day. nor do i want one. i just want to feel better. this is why i hate ever getting in involved with anyone. it always leaves me feeling crushed. i wish i never even went out EVER in my life.  then maybe i wouldn’t feel so damn sad very single day of my life now. must i feel this way forever? why don’t i deserve to be happy? fuck today and fuck heartache. and FML.