i don’t want do do this anymore.

i wrote you a letter but was too chicken to send it. i’m not 100 percent sure that’s what i want but i’m pretty sure it’s gonna happen eventually. might as well get it over with.

and yes i am awake again because i woke up with anxiety. or something. but my blood pressure and heart rate was normal. my heart rate has been in the 60’s lately. i will take that over 200 any day.

i guess he will call tomorrow like everything is okay. whatever.